"It's not that I have ideological differences, I'm just not a hat person"--S. Griffin
Yarmulkes kinda fascinate me. It's not just the fact that there's a random r in there. It's the whole set of assumptions and practices associated with them. The amount of thought and calculation on behalf of boys that goes into wearing them is so interesting. For example, I was talking with a friend at a bar-birthday-party one Saturday night. He'd gone to shul a couple hours before and had decided to leave his yarmulke on even though he doesn't normally wear it outside of services. He said he was contemplating wearing it full-time. Why, I asked. He said he realized that a lot of girls weren't even looking at him as a datable option because of his lack of the yarmulke. That they assume that he's not observant because of this one thing. (He's pretty kosher and semi-Shomer Shabbat.)
Even though it may sound like a silly reason to start wearing one, he's sorta right. There is a whole set of assumptions that goes along with this outward signifier. A lot of times you hear the latest gossip about some guy, and even though you don't know him that well, the surprised response is "But....but.....he wears a yarmulke!"
Then there're the guys who do the reverse. They take OFF their yarmulkes when they go out to clubs. Sorta like G-d can't see what they're doing unless they wear their homing device.
I guess it all comes down to trying to get the ladies.
Speaking of the ladies, we use physical objects to signify identity, too. I was talking with a few girls the other day at Starbucks. One of them was saying how she feels more religious when wearing a long skirt, like she has to pair it with a long-sleeve T-shirt. We were also saying how it almost makes us feel like imposters. That by wearing a long skirt we're somehow telling people we're something we're not. Like so much meaning is wrapped up in your day wear. I have to admit, I did get really excited when I saw a group of yarmulke-clad tourists walking down the streets of Prague after going so long without seeing them last spring. I could assume they were craving non-existent Czech kosher meat just like I was. :)
Of course, girls can also adopt a Jewish identity by wearing a yarmulke themselves. I saw a woman walking down University wearing one a couple days ago; the first time I saw a woman wearing one outside of shul, I think. It's really interesting how girl-yarmulkes tend to be crocheted or pink or purple. Like they're taking this masculine object and imbuing it with their own feminine identity.
posted by Kimberly Bastin @ 6:25 PM
4 Comments:
Very interesting post. My favorite comment of yours: "Sorta like G-d can't see what they're doing unless they wear their homing device."
There are so many people in the world, and it's impossible to get to know all of them on a deep and meaningful level. So we take shortcuts. We identify people by petty factors, like whether or not they wear yarmulkes. We attach meanings to things that we see on people, if even those people don't intend those meanings to come across at all. It's a fascinating problem.
On another note, I think it's great to hear about women wearing yarmulkes and imbuing "masculine object[s] with their own feminine identity." One of the terrible things about organized religion, to me, has always been its extreme and senseless sexism. It's present in just about every major religious group, in one way or another. Any steps that women can take to combat this and affirm their identities is absolutely wonderful.
deng yo. i like your blog. it's a real blog! with real thoughts! not just i-went-to-school-today stuff on it.
in response though, true that! so what do people assume about me/what aura do i give off by going around with in my pajamas with my hair unbrushed? :D haha.
There's this website for a company called Diaspora Girl, they sell kippot for women, but like you said, they're crocheted and they look a lot more like hats, or the headdresses I've seen on belly dancers. I had seen women walking around in yarmulkes before, but I thought nothing of it. This, on the other hand, confused me a bit. They just look like hats, some of the hats I own. And as for yarmulkes and the boys who are selective about wearing them, I used to know a guy who would hide joints under his yarmulke to smuggle them into concerts, then took it off when he smoked them, or when he was going to a club or concert. I thinks its the ideological clash that bothers me. I'm not very good about practicing my religion, but I don't pretend I am. I feel like if you're going to project certain things, your actions should confirm them.
it's rather fascinating how clothing and jewelry can be such a huge part of a religious identity.
I don't wear a kippah all the time. instead i wear a star of david around my neck. For me, it's what signifies that my Judaism is all around, and i feel a stronger connection to that, then wearing a kippah. My brother is the opposite, he wears a kippah all the time... It's a matter of preference in many instances (at least in the more progressive forms of Judaism).
But it's not just judaism that has this pieces of ritual garb that people wear on their way to the grocery store. Many Christians will wear Crosses around their necks, and some Muslims will have the bubushka, (i don't know if that's what it's actually called, so forgive me if that's insulting in any way).
I really like this topic. Great Post! And the stewie quote...priceless. :)
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