Intermarriage is So Hot Right Now

So Jason and I have similar taste in television and I was watching the War at Home last Sunday, too. Anyways, it coincided perfectly with our class on intermarriage. The mother on the show is Roman Catholic and the father is Jewish. When their youngest son suddenly announces he wants to be Bar Mitzvahed, the mother gets upset. She says that Judaism is just "one of his religions." This reminded me of the Fishman article. Although I don't like a lot of what Fishman said, some intermarried couples do try to bring their children up as both, or half-and-half. This concept has always confused me for one main reason. Jesus. Although we learned in class today that Jews and Jesus may be able to mix, in general, I think it would be hard to actually raise someone as Jewish and as Christian (if you go beyond celebrating holidays and get into actual belief systems). That was one of my problems with the Fishman article. What you celebrate in name only doesn't necessarily say anything about you're actual faith or religion. As this episode shows, even a Bar Mitzvah can be a meaningless, commercial event.

This episode did a good job of demonstrating the push and pull that can go on between intermarried couples. At first the mother feels like an outsider and doesn't want her son to get Bar Mitzvahed. She tries to convince her daughter to get confirmed. I think the real problem that the couple faced was not due to the difference in their religions, but due to their seemingly lack of interest in either one. Thus, each parent is surprised when the other one suddenly wants their children to embrace a religion. The father shows a lot of disdain for Judaism, even saying "That's what being Jewish is all about--suffering." When his wife is surprised that he supports his son's choice, he changes his tone, saying "Just because I don't go to temple and don't do any of the ceremonies, doesn't mean I'm not Jewish." Here comes Professor Cohen's Circle with Borders again. When it comes down to it, he wants his son to have a more traditional-style Bar Mitzvah, partly because he had to suffer through it as a tween. I think this attitude is a common one among intermarried and in-married Jews. I think if you really want to help solve the so-called continuity problem, you have to take steps to make Hebrew school and Jewish ceremonies more welcoming, enjoyable, and something that people want to pass on to their children for the right reasons (regardless of whom they marry).