Give Heeb a Chance

In the name of research, I went to Heeb's release party for their Money Issue at a club in the West Village. It wasn't exactly what I expected. First of all, the crowd wasn't nearly as hipster or alternative (whatever that means) as I'd pictured. People were generally dressed like NYU students (a lot of urban outfitters and some ironically geekish gear). Not so many nose rings or visible tattoos or giant chai bling. A few things distinguished it from a normal night at a club. A lot more people were wearing glasses (which I've decided is a Jewish thing 'cause I'm always the only one without contacts until I hit up a Jewish event) and everyone was talking instead of dancing (possibly another Jewish thing). While most Jewish events for people in their 20s and 30s are thinly-veiled singles nights, people didn't seem to be there in hopes of eventually making Jewish babies. Another thing that surprised me was that a couple really Orthodox-looking guys were there in white shirts, yarmulkes, and tzitzit. I'd always pegged Heeb's audience as the secular crowd. But other than the gelt on the tables and a couple of Streits matzah posters ("the perfect cure for the munchies"), there wasn't anything noticably Jewish about the event. Maybe that makes it more authentically Jewish--Jews just hanging out being themselves without having to listen to klezmer music. I don't know.

The night picked up when my friend convinced me to corner the editor (remember Leather Jacket Guy?) and ask him for an interview. If you remember my entry from the class we spent on the Passion issue, I'm not the biggest fan of the magazine. After talking to him, however, I may be coming around. One of my main problems was that I felt it was coming from a place of "I may be Jewish, BUT I can still be cool." He said that they aren't trying to set up stereotypes and break them, but rather play with them. Explore their meaning through manipulation. I think this becomes more apparent when you read more issues and when you have a greater knowledge of what Jewish stereotypes are. (It's so hard to keep track sometimes!) Oh, and I asked him about all the topless pics in the Passion spread. He says they were imitating paintings, not just for shock value, so mystery solved.

Highlight of the night: In the middle of talking to him, we started to smell something burning, saw a HUGE cloud of smoke to our left, and realized that a girl's giant Jewfro had caught on fire from one of the votive candles lying about.

Runner up: I met one of Lisa Loeb's potential suitors from Number 1 Single who immediately informed me that the TV show had been edited poorly and he and Lisa are still friends. Hmmm...maybe I should've blogged about her quest for a nice Jewish boy.

In an unrelated note, you know you aren't feeling well when you actually choose to eat matzah post-Passover.

Remnant

Uch, I have strep throat, so sorry if this isn't coherent. It was interesting seeing Kirk Cameron in action (had a huge crush on him when I was 3). I wonder if Candace will be in a sequel to Remnant? Anyways, I think a lot of the class discussion focused more on the Jewish perception of evangelical Christians than the Christian perception of Jews. On one hand, the Christian description of the end of days can be useful for Jewish international policy (i.e. Israel). On the other hand, I don't know that it's so beneficial for actual Jews living in America. As Professor Cohen pointed out, most the Jews in the tale are Orthodox and men. But most American Jews aren't Orthodox (and about half aren't men). Jews in the story are basically a tool for Christians. The head rabbi is useful because he's learned and eventually comes to the conclusion that Jesus is the messiah. But what about the Jews who don't agree? Orthodox Jews are basically reduced to a kitschy, almost mystical entity while non-Orthodox Jews are dismissed (or worse maybe they're considered the liberal leaders of the Crusade against Christmas FOX News likes to talk about). Of course, I prefer this friendly, if somewhat condescending, view of Jews to a hostile rally against them. But this current view does not actually accept Jews for what they are, only what they can be. I wonder if the attitude will change when they realize that not all Jews are moving to Israel or accepting Jesus or if the second coming starts taking too long to come.

Sidenote--Since "anonymous" was so keen on hearing my thoughts on the anti-Christ, here we go. Based on the excerpt of the movie we watched, what about the anti-Christ makes him such a bad guy? Is the main root of his bad-guy-ness the fact that he's trying to take Jesus's place? Is he getting his special powers from the devil? I guess when people talked about the anti-Christ, I always pictured some big devil-looking beast or a metal band from the '70s, not some guy who ends world hunger. Although I do think it's smart of them to make him an anti-Christ appropriate for the age we live in. If you need to have tons of money, great media coverage, and good looks to win an election nowadays, I guess you'd need the same to work as an anti-Christ.

Is it Hot in Here?

I just went to a Heeb release party, and a girl's Jewfro caught on fire.

More later.

Jews for Jesus

A lot of times when the subject of messianic Jews has come up, even my Christian friends say, "What's the difference? Aren't those Christians?" Today's class cleared up a bit of the confusion, although obviously some contradictions remain. I think one of the parts that is most puzzling for me is what the point of Jesus is to messianic Jews. Whenever someone has been trying to convert me or explaining Christianity to me, they always say that they think Jesus died for everyone's sins and that is why no one has to follow Jewish law anymore. And didn't someone (maybe Saint Augustine?) say that it was actually a bad thing to follow Jewish law after Jesus's death? (I'm trying to remember what I learned in Con West.)

That was a good point about the acceptance of Chabad versus the acceptance of messianic Jews. Maybe it's because Jews have been persecuted for so long in the name of Jesus that the idea of bringing Jesus into Judaism seems antithetical to the religion. I think another reason is that when Jews say they believe in Jesus, there is a feeling that they have given in to social pressure. Unlike people who think the Lubavitch Rebbe is the messiah and thus become part of an even smaller social group, Jews who believe in Jesus become part of the American majority. It can be seen as an easy way out, giving up some of their "specialness" to fit in more with the crowd.

Intermarriage is So Hot Right Now

So Jason and I have similar taste in television and I was watching the War at Home last Sunday, too. Anyways, it coincided perfectly with our class on intermarriage. The mother on the show is Roman Catholic and the father is Jewish. When their youngest son suddenly announces he wants to be Bar Mitzvahed, the mother gets upset. She says that Judaism is just "one of his religions." This reminded me of the Fishman article. Although I don't like a lot of what Fishman said, some intermarried couples do try to bring their children up as both, or half-and-half. This concept has always confused me for one main reason. Jesus. Although we learned in class today that Jews and Jesus may be able to mix, in general, I think it would be hard to actually raise someone as Jewish and as Christian (if you go beyond celebrating holidays and get into actual belief systems). That was one of my problems with the Fishman article. What you celebrate in name only doesn't necessarily say anything about you're actual faith or religion. As this episode shows, even a Bar Mitzvah can be a meaningless, commercial event.

This episode did a good job of demonstrating the push and pull that can go on between intermarried couples. At first the mother feels like an outsider and doesn't want her son to get Bar Mitzvahed. She tries to convince her daughter to get confirmed. I think the real problem that the couple faced was not due to the difference in their religions, but due to their seemingly lack of interest in either one. Thus, each parent is surprised when the other one suddenly wants their children to embrace a religion. The father shows a lot of disdain for Judaism, even saying "That's what being Jewish is all about--suffering." When his wife is surprised that he supports his son's choice, he changes his tone, saying "Just because I don't go to temple and don't do any of the ceremonies, doesn't mean I'm not Jewish." Here comes Professor Cohen's Circle with Borders again. When it comes down to it, he wants his son to have a more traditional-style Bar Mitzvah, partly because he had to suffer through it as a tween. I think this attitude is a common one among intermarried and in-married Jews. I think if you really want to help solve the so-called continuity problem, you have to take steps to make Hebrew school and Jewish ceremonies more welcoming, enjoyable, and something that people want to pass on to their children for the right reasons (regardless of whom they marry).

A Night with Kesher

I went to one of the nicest Shabbat services I've been to in a long time tonight. Okay, so technically I missed the actual services. But it was still one of the nicest Shabbat experiences I've had lately. It began to rain as I headed towards Chabad, so I decided to stop in at the Bronfman center in search of services (and free food). There, I stumbled upon a dinner hosted by Kesher, the Reform group. There was a handful of kids representin' for the Jewish Identity Today class, but most of the people there were new faces. Everyone was really friendly! (Having gone to an NYU seder the past two nights, I had something to compare it to.) They seemed genuinely happy to be there as opposed to seeming disinterested, like they were only there because they had to be. A lot of the people there had plans for later that night; seeing a movie or visiting a friend across town. I know a lot of people would see this as a bad thing. One person at the seder last night refered to Reform Judaism as having a lack of religiousity. However, I think it says a lot about the religious commitment of the people there that even though they had other plans for the night, they set this chunk of time aside to come together as a community.

After dinner was a sing-along. I usually hate the tishes held Friday nights. Everyone sings songs in Hebrew that they learned at Yeshiva with no songbooks to follow along with (or if there are books, no one bothers to really shout out page numbers). In contrast, the Kesher tish was extremely user-friendly. Their songbooks had Hebrew, Transliteration, and English and they made sure everyone new what page the song was on. (Great job, Mike.) Anyways, it would be nice if all three sects at NYU could make their weekly services as unimposing to anyone who happens to come by that night.

As Seen on TV

All this talk of intermarriage reminded me of an article I read on OstrichInk.com. If you watch as much TV as I do, you may have noticed a pattern. Awkward Jewish teenager falls in love with non-Jewish ideal and through their relationship transitions into the cool clique in school. The fact that a lot of the writers are Jewish may say a lot about the negative stereotypes of Jewish women and outsider identity. Anyways, here're some fun thoughts on that. (Sorry if the word "wasp" offends anyone.)

http://www.ostrichink.com/dec2003/wasps.html

Mixed

My mom's Jewish and my dad's Christian. Somehow, I managed to make it to high school without realizing that in-faith marriage was a "Jewish thing," which is surprising since interfaith marriage has been the topic of so many lectures I've been to and debates I've had since then. Since it's a topic I have a vested interest in, I was excited to get to this subject in class. That said, I found the Fishman article rather disappointing. For starters, the title bothers me. "Constructing Identity in Jewish and Mixed-Married Families." I understand why she did this, but by putting the two types of families in seperate categories, it implies that a mixed-married family is not Jewish by definition. Regardless of what goes on within the household, the mixed-married family is an Other.

While one of the most interesting parts of the article is the statistics, I find her definitions of celebrating Christian holidays or rituals or blending two religions blurry and overbroad. For example, she states that Christmas is celebrated in the homes with Jewish mothers 72% of the time and 75% of the time with Christian mothers. Obviously, this statistic reinforces her statement that mixed-married families are more likely to blend religions. Celebrating a holiday, however, can take on a mulititude of meanings. There's a broad spectrum; from receiving presents with no tree, to having a tree, to singing Christmas carols, to actual prayer. I think to get a better idea of what mixed-married families look like, you would have to dive deeper into specifics. The most interesting part of this set of statistics (that families with a Jewish mother are more likely to not celebrate Christmas in their homes and to not go to Church than families with a Jewish father) is that it mirrors the traditional idea of matrilineal descent in determining what religion the children are.

I think Fishman correctly asserts that endogamy does not mesh with the values of freedom and inclusivity held by most American Jews. With the constant question of Jewish continuity, I often wonder why synagogues and Jewish organizations do not focus on the other factors contributing to a static or declining population of American Jews. Why not encourage people to get married younger and have more children? I think rather than trying to convince people to not marry non-Jews, they should make Judaism something attractive and welcoming, something that people will want to pass on to their children. Since the idea of excluding groups of people from your potential marriage pool based on a characteristic they were born with sounds racist in today's popular culture (I don't really agree with Randy Cohen's arguement that being Jewish is 'volitional'), I think it is smarter to focus on reducing the number of people who raise their children with no faith or a blurry intermixed faith. Just getting Jews to marry other Jews solves the continuity problem in face-value only. Many children of two Jewish parents have no real attachment to the faith. Even if they marry another Jew, who's to say what they will pass on to their children?

Fastest Seder EVER

A couple days ago, I got to see the editor of Heeb again (this time clad in less leather). It was at a Heeb-sponsored sneak preview of When Do We Eat?, an independent movie about a Passover Seder gone awry when the father's antacid is spiked with some "so good you'll see G-d" extasy. Someone else has wondered what narcotics could do for a religious experience in their blog; now you can watch this movie and find out.

The movie was really funny, although perhaps a little melodramatic in the second half. It brings together all "types" of Jews in one dysfunctional family. The father makes Christmas tree ornaments for a living (hmmm...a comment on how Jews wrote all the good modern Christmas carols?), one son is a sort of hippie-stoner, and in true psychologist-meets-sexual revolution fashion, one daughter is a sexual surrogate (sort of a cross between a therapist and a hooker). One aspect of the movie that was particularly well done was the tension that exists between the less observant father and his recently-turned-Chassidic (Chabbad) son. The mother dotes on her religious son, trying to make the seder live up to his standards. She tells everyone he's a "Good Jew;" his recent religious awakening somehow redeems the rest of her dysfunctional family who often ask "since when do we care about kosher?" The father, on the other hand, feels threatened, maintaining that a non-observant Jew is a "Smart Jew."

And like all-things-Jewish, apparently, When Do We Eat? touches on Holocaust experiences as well. The grandfather lost almost all of his family in the War and represents an older generation of Jews that are constantly waiting for another enemy to rise up and try to obliterate the Jews. It occured to me that the ability to put 1st-person Holocaust references into movies set in the present day is nearing an end. When the father mentioned the family who hid him during the War, people in the row behind me (Heeb staff and others associated with the film) audibly commented that he's too young to have actually been alive during that time. Maybe he's supposed to be a really young-looking 65-year-old, but it's a bit of a stretch.

All in all, I highly recommend this movie. It's funny and even touching at times. You can see it next week to take your mind off all that bread you're not eating.

Treasure

Mrs. Cohen's lecture was really terrific. I liked the addition of a hat to set the mood. One of the things I took away from the class was that maybe there is no way to ensure Jewish continuity. Seventy percent is a large number, but when you look at each of her children individually, whether they had Jewish babies is pretty random. It looks like a combination of personal inclination and circumstance. Treasure Cohen's mother had the type of personality that embraced Judaism and she happened to meet and marry someone who wanted to raise a Jewish family with her. Of course, parenting must contribute something to how a child turns out, so it's not surprising that many of the younger children did not end up having Jewish children. I was surprised, however, that none of the children of the inter-married couples, even when the mother was Jewish, considered themselves Jewish. I think the time that her children were coming of age was a particularly hard one to maintain a Jewish identity in. It's hard to pay temple dues when there's a depression. Coupled with the xenophobia and political movements of the day that weren't Judaism-friendly, a lot of Jews probably renounced their religion.

It was also really interesting to see how different the observance of a Conservative Jew was then compared to the average observance level of a Conservative Jew today.

Am I Jewish Enough?

One subject that was briefly touched upon last week was one I have been meaning to blog about for a while now. Someone mentioned how they felt underqualified to take this course and appreciated how Professor Cohen explains any Hebrew words that come up, etc. I've noticed this theme running throughout so many of the blogs. The writer feels like the rest of the class is "Really Jewish" compared to him. I feel bad that people are so intimidated, but I can kinda relate. There are so many facets to Judaism (as we're finding out in this course) that I think even if you went to Yeshiva for 12 years, you would still feel like you had an inadequate amount of knowledge to talk about many subjects. I think this sentiment also points to a certain hierarchy within the religion. This feeling that someone coming from an Orthodox background is more qualified to comment on any and all things Jewish than someone with a less observant or secular background. People talk of "Jewish guilt" all the time (hey, look at Guilt and Pleasure) and I think it's usually attributed to Jewish mothers. If Jewish guilt exists, then I wonder if maybe a lot of it comes from ourselves. With so much history to learn and so many rules to follow, it is really easy for people to feel like they are not doing what they are supposed to or are not living up to some ideal.

Ironically, the simple fact that they are signed up for this class on Jewish Identity would probably make a lot of people outside refer to the students in this class as "Really Jewish."